Celebrities Confuse Me
I'm feeling confused. Hardly a day passes but yet another actor is named a United Nations' goodwill ambassador and immediately starts lecturing us on world peace and the eradication of poverty.
Nicole Kidman is the latest recruit, with a gushing statement about how she intends to concentrate on advancing women's rights internationally. Excellent plan. But how exactly does a woman best known for winning an Oscar for wearing a prosthetic nose, marrying (and divorcing) Tom Cruise and being the face of Chanel intend to achieve that minor little ambition? Maybe she can squeeze it in during a gap in shooting schedules. Fortunately the Oscars’ ceremony is on hand next month to remind us where the talents of the Hollywood elite really lie: stepping out of limousines, prancing down the red carpet as a battery of cameras flash and wearing haute couture gowns they’re not expected to pay for. The fact that Hollywood’s A-listers are tripping over themselves to endorse humanitarian causes is intriguing, all the same. For starters it shows a complete absence of self-awareness. Consequential in one sphere, they are deluded enough to believe their significance extends across the board.
Are we honestly meant to sit up and listen to the Nicole Kidmans, Angelina Jolies and Sharon Stones on global issues just because they're famous? Is celebrity really so powerful – or does it have the gloss of authority without much substance behind it? There’s no denying Hollywood stars have hit the jackpot – even the mordant Joan Rivers can’t disguise her envy when she interviews them as they turn up at the Academy Awards to collect goodie bags worth thousands of dollars. This is a privileged cluster of people who have it all … but now they want something more. They crave respectability and a purpose beyond simply providing entertainment. Perhaps they think it will still that insidious voice inside their heads which occasionally whispers "come on, making movies isn't really all that important".
So the UN has become a celebrity hotel – chief innkeeper Kofi Annan even goes to their star-spangled weddings – and anyone in Hollywood who wants to show there’s nothing trivial about them checks in with Kofi. Angelina Jolie, an actress with more tattoos than she has teeth and a nifty sideline in self-mutilation, is the public face of the UN’s refugee agency. Now that Brad Pitt is part of her life, at least for the present, he has suddenly discovered humanitarian causes too. Brad Pitt may be breathtakingly handsome, he may even be a talented actor, but he has never betrayed any evidence of an off-screen identity let alone a heart. So sue me, but I feel the teensiest bit cynical about his UN involvement.
There’s a trend nowadays for movie-stars to crave esteem, as well as the hero-worship we already accord them automatically. It's no longer enough to be idolised, cossetted from reality by a slick team of yes-men and paid enormous sums for a few months' work. They want to make a difference in people’s lives. It’s a form of megalomania, this evangelical “let’s put the world to rights” complex, and it would be risible if we didn't take them as seriously as they do themselves. Recently at Davos, the annual world economic summit, politicians and high-ranking bureaucrats were elbowing aside old ladies in the scramble to collect Angelina and Brad's autographs and generally abase themselves at the feet of the golden couple. Their star-struck behaviour was pitiful.
Then again, why should they be any more insulated against celebrity worship than the rest of us? Everyone seems to be in thrall to the fame factor. People queued for hours in London just to catch a glimpse of Brad and Angelina when they stopped off there en route to Davos. Sharon Stone and Bono also popped up in Switzerland. At least Bono has done his homework when he starts talking about fighting Aids in Africa – Sharon Stone comes across as just plain eccentric.
Some of the celebrities have themselves developed an uncomfortable realisation that they don't actually deserve the adulation, which is possibly another reason why they want to sign up for Good Works. Angelina said she knew her role as a UN ambassador was more important than her Hollywood work. But the Catch 22, of course, is that the movies lend her cachet. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, just named Cork Person of the Year and feted with a civic reception, betrayed some embarrassment at the frivolity of it all. He admitted the plaudits weren't for "saving lives" – and then made a half-hearted attempt to justify the acclaim by adding that he hoped his example would spur other young people to pursue their passion in life.
I suppose there’s no real harm in celebrities becoming UN ambassadors, or latching on to whichever cause catches their eye, but I’m not convinced we should pay too much attention to them when they do.
We should just treat it as a version of Oscars’ night – a chance to watch the beautiful people and check out the frocks.
